My husband told me to put my phone down. Just put it away he said. Our phones have become a mind numbing distraction. When your spouse says he feels like you spend more time on the phone than talking to him, that is a huge wake up call. We see our kids do it as well and shake our heads in disdain. Yet, here I am, doing the same. It’s time for a change. Social media is such a time zapper. We need more real social interaction and less finger clicking.
There are so many reasons we should be more present in our lives. We miss out on so many happy moments because we are focusing on things that are not nearly as important as we let ourselves believe.
Mom who is too busy daydreaming of better days, I am talking to you. Dad who is too busy worried about “all the things” to enjoy the little things going on around him, soak this info in. Husband who hasn’t noticed his wife’s frowns because he hasn’t heard what she has said for the bajillionth time, pay attention. Wife too busy mindlessly scrolling IG or Facebook while her spouse, son, or daughter tells her about his or her amazing day, this is for you. Sister who has been so caught up in trying to be the perfect size 2 and has missed out on life around her, you need to hear this. Brother who has been too consumed with school or work or the gym, that he didn’t notice his parents have aged and need him now more than ever, I am definitely talking to you.
Friends, I am guilty too. Sometimes, we get so caught up in social media, worries, or daydreaming, that we forget that life is happening around us. Let’s look at 5 reasons why we have to be more present.
Worry Steals Your Happiness
Worry is the thief of all things joy. Hey, I get it. I worry too much sometimes as well. For some, it may be about the financial burdens and responsibilities that seem insurmountable. Some of us worry about personal health or the health of those we care about. Sometimes, we worry we are not good enough. Then there’s work and a whole other level of stress. So many worries, so much to worry about, so much anxiety. We could sit and fret ALL day long about ALL the things. BUT, we have to choose not to.
The awesome thing about life is we have choices. Can I get an amen?! We have choices. We can choose to be present instead of borrowing trouble. Why miss out on the good things in life, because we were too busy worrying about the bad? It makes sense when we say it out loud. Worry is a thief of living. Yet it is as simple as changing your mindset. You get to choose your thoughts. Whether you are a Negative Nelly or little Mrs. Suzie Sunshine, that is up to you. You choose. You decide how you respond to what life throws your way. Focus on the good around you. I’m not telling you not to be concerned when the time is right, just don’t let anxiety steal your chance for happiness the rest of the time.
Family & Friends Need You
Our friends and family need us. They really do. When you sit at the table for a meal, are you all on your mobile devices mindlessly scrolling OR are you chatting about your day? When it’s family time in the family room, do you hear what is going on around you, or are you too busy dreaming of other things? Families in the same house have become strangers over time. We could blame so many things, but the simple truth is that it’s our own fault. We should own our lives and start caring about others. Friends and/or family who haven’t heard from us in forever, they need us. Whether they just miss our voice and stories, or something monumental or devastating has happened in their lives, they need us.
Choose to be present. We are not guaranteed tomorrow. I know. Both of my parents slipped away entirely too young. Spend quality time with the people you love. When it is time for your last breath, don’t regret putting your phone, work, or selfish thoughts before the things that truly matter. Don’t miss out on the good times. I am not saying we can’t dream or aspire for greater things. Please do. Become great.
My point is that somewhere along the way, we have become selfish and it’s time to reconnect and reclaim life. Once again, it’s a choice. Tell the people you love what they mean to you. Show them via action. Have fun and smile more. Just a simple phone call or text can make someone’s day brighter. Instead of talking and everyone hearing your voice at the table, maybe it’s time to listen to what the world is saying. Be a ray of sunshine for the people you love.
Relationships Strengthen
This is fact, my friends. Being present in the moment, brings people closer. Hearing what others say matters. It matters to them and it should matter to us.
Sometimes, we are so busy waiting for the other person to stop talking just so we can say what we want to say. Yikes! That sounds awful when we say it out loud or on paper. It could be that we aren’t present because we are too busy thinking of all the things we could be doing instead. Just as bad.
When and how did the world become so self-absorbed? Put down your phone. Put away your worries. Put the negative thoughts behind you. Be present in the moment. As you start to put away all the things that don’t matter, and focus on what does – the people and the moments in your life, you will start to see all of your relationships strengthen. Not only that, people will enjoy being around you more. Being present, listening, and paying attention to those we care about is so important.
Your work relationships will be more solid. Your home relationships will become incredibly strong. Your friendships will increase in quality.
Greater Joy Happens
Something even better happens if we are present with the right mindset. We start to experience greater joy. We FEEL things. If we focus on the moment and what is happening around us, we can find joy in the little things. There is joy in every moment. EVEN the hard ones. We just have to look for it.
We lose our parents and grandparents way too soon, but we can still cherish the memories …and boy are there some fantastic ones. The bright side is that we had amazing and exceptionally valuable time with those we have lost. We now know life is way too short. Being present in the time we do have, makes us appreciate those experiences so much more.
Your 5 year old may drop his ice cream cone, and proceed to smear it around the kitchen with his foot. On a positive note, the floor was way past due for a cleaning. You know I am right, mama. These moments pass far too quickly. Enjoy every minute. Perhaps you’re headed to an interview with perfect hair and the skies open up and begin pouring rain down on you, just remember the flowers and veggies in the gardens are going to soak it up. Now you won’t have to water when you get home! Best. Day. Ever. Plus shouldn’t your amazing attitude and intelligence land the job any ol’ way?!
There is always a positive side to every situation. We just have to look for it. Learning over time, to find the sunny side of life, brings so much joy in everyday moments. We love being around positive people, but yet we drag our feet when it’s time to be around negative people. If this is indeed the case, and it is, then choose to be positive and let the joy be heaped upon you. Positivity brings greater joy.
Room to Grow
Being present in your life means room to grow. I have experienced great joys and also earth shattering heartaches, and in all that, I have learned that there’s always room to grow, and to be better mentally and physically.
Learning is so important. It could be learning what your spouse enjoys most and making that a priority in your life. Growing into a better human and a more attentive spouse is totally winning at this thing called life. It could be finding your passion for a hobby or sport, and spending time actually working on it and learning the skill, instead of scrolling Netflix and binge watching Marie Kondo. Hey, I enjoyed a few episodes myself too, so not pointing fingers here. 😉 It could be enjoying gardening and spending more time outside with family learning how to make it all happen. I know I love that!
Or it could be knowing you have very little time before those 2 year old twins become teenagers and prefer their friends over time with mom. I have been there friends. Let me say, I learned so much and became a better person when I spent lots of good quality time with my kids. Some may down the PTA mom, but those early years cannot be replaced.
Best. Times. Ever.
No one warns us that the little squealing happy children who want to talk to us and show us the flower they picked or lizard they caught, are not the same once they grow up. Be present so you don’t miss out.
We should always be striving to learn more. Learn more about the people we love, more about the topics we are passionate about, and more about things that matter to us. Our hearts and minds grow so much when we don’t let life pass us by.
Be in the moment. Be Present. Live life like you mean it. Learn from others and from each experience. Every day we can learn and grow and do better. Life is happening around you, don’t be the one person who doesn’t live it. Let’s do life better.
Cheers to finding ways to be present and making it a priority.
Changing Lives Every Day,
~ Dawn
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